Grandmom Elly, always in our hearts
My Poem to Grandmom
for her 90th birthday.
Her Mass:
Elly's Mass was beautiful. The
temperature was in the low 80's -- perfect weather. There were about 30
people there. I imagine Olivia and Norman have the guest book. They
should also have the bulk of the prayer cards, which were lovely.
Walt/Diana: I already left messages with most of this (apologize for
duplication -- just delete my calls :-) Here are names of those I could quickly
identify at Elly's Mass: Bob Grano and his mother-in-law, Ollie (about
Elly's age); Everett Malcolm (Associate Vice President of University of North
Florida) and his daughter, Sarah (student @UNF), and Everett's former wife,
Christie Goyette; Mary Oeschli (who played golf with Elly and rounded up some
ladies; also wife of Bernie O. who sang Ave Maria in hospice to Elly and at
Mass for Elly; your cousin, Eric; Elaine Bowman and her daughter, Ashley (it
was Ashley's 40th birthday and she came to honor Elly); Berverly Holmes
Kolodinski (OLSS parishioner and a member of Theresians By the Sea Prayer Group
with Elly and me and kept up with Elly through the years -- she is my age);
Chris Karbowski, neighbor; Maria Sanchez; Mercedes (last name escapes me right
now --she has a house cleaning business and LOVED your mother); Elizabeth Kelly
(a member of my Wed night Bible Study group that has been praying for Elly for
several years -- Elizabeth wanted to pay her respects to Elly, my dear friend;
and Margo from Sunrise Assisted Living -- I introduced her to Fr. Steven
afterwards. I also told Margo that if they had a memorial for Elly --
even if a "group" memorial for the quarter for those who have died at
Sunrise -- I would be there.
Both bouquets from the family memorial survived quite well. Olivia and I
each added extra flowers, slightly different, but they both turned out
great. John ordered a large arrangement and it was in front of the
ambo. It was in a stunning basket -- quite lovely. I also put three
tiny, white rose plants for each of the local great granddaughters for memories
of Elly in the years ahead. For the "Three Musketeers"
(neighbors Maria, Chris and I), I brought three chrysanthemum plants, that were
larger than the little girls' plants, so we could have something from Elly's
farewell to plant in our yards. (Norman mentioned that the three large
arrangements were going to be donated to a hospice or some other place that
would cheer up patients.)
When the family followed Fr. Steven, the crucifix and the altar servers to put
Elly to rest beside her beloved husband in the columbarium, little Fiona and
Devon remained in the pew. I went over to sit next to them to keep them
company until Melissa and the family returned. Devon did not like the
smell of the incense that had been used just moments before. They were
darling little girls who watched and listened to all of the wonderful things
being said about Elly. Melissa gave a beautiful tribute to Elly at the
end of the Mass, using the poem "Success," which embodies your
darling mother. Melissa added heartfelt remarks about Grandmother who, at
last, is with Ed -- who Elly missed so very much.
I asked Fr. Steven for a list of the readings and he provided his personal Mass
program from a notebook after the Mass. It has handwritten
remarks/notes. Mary Jane, I know we had hoped that I could find someone
that morning with an iphone to record some or all of the Mass, but that did not
pan out. I am including the Order of the Mass (below) and have typed, in its
entirety, Fr. Steven's homily, remarks and sentiments. I used italics
(and bold) where he gave special emphasis.
Fr. Steven's Homily
My condolences to the Zilahy Family and to all of Elly's friends gathered here
this morning.
This Funeral Mass is a time to mourn for our sister, and to acknowledge our
loss. It is good and healthy to mourn. I extend my condolences to
all of you, especially Elly's children and their spouses: Norman and Olivia;
Walter and Diana; Robert and Pam; Peter and Sharon; and Mary Jane. Also,
to all of Elly's grandchildren and great-grandchildren -- it was said that Elly
loved and even lived for her grandchildren.
Our first reading from Scripture was specifically chosen because it reminds us
of Elly. Elly exuded the characteristics in this Scripture. She was a
"worthy wife; bringing good to others; reached out to the poor; loved and
praised God; and is acknowledged for her good deeds." Therefore, Elly
lived a virtuous life. She was a faithful steward with what God had given
her.
In the second reading, St. Paul refers to the Christian way of life as a
"race." It's a race in the sense that we must have
training, conditioning, proper gear, and the need to be "physically
fit" for the race. It's a race in that we must have focus,
perseverance, stamina and endurance to the end. It's a race because there
is a prize at the end for the winners. Elly fought to the end, so as to
win the prize. That prize is to spend eternal life with Our Lord, Jesus
Christ in the Kingdom of Heaven.
I would like to express a few sentiments about Elly.
Elly was born in [Blag] Hungary in 1914
She immigrated to the United States in 1937.
She and her husband, Ed, had a very committed love for one another. They
were married for 51 years.
Elly and Ed were devoted parishioners at St. Mary's Church in Nutley, NJ; then,
when they moved to Ponte Vedra Beach in 1977, they became faithful members of
Our Lady Star of the Sea.
They had five children, to whom Elly devoted herself and saw to it that they
received a college education.
When Elly moved to Ponte Vedra, she became involved in many different
organizations.
She was an excellent cook, sewed frequently, and kept an immaculate house.
She was very active, and even played golf until she was 90 years old.
Elly was an extremely kind person. Gabrielle Holcombe said, "Elly is
one of the gentlest persons you could ever encounter. She quietly made
her mark in this world by loving one person at a time." And her
daughter-in-law, Olivia, said, "Elly is the most gentle and kind person I
have ever known. She never said anything negative about
anyone."
During her last years she was not able to attend Mass due to her health, so Bob
Grano and the late Bob Mons would bring Holy Communion to her at home.
Just a day or so before Elly passed on to eternity, Bernie Oeschli sang the
"Ave Maria" to Elly, knowing that she had a love for Our Blessed
Mother Mary.
The gospel reading talks about the "many dwelling places" in the
Father's house that Jesus prepares for his followers. Jesus tells us that
he is "the Way, the
Truth, and the Life." What Jesus is saying to us today is:
"Follow me, for I am the Way to God the Father, and I will prepare a place
for you in heaven." Our Lord Jesus prepared a place in heaven for
our sister, Elly. She lived a good, long life. We were
blessed by the gift of her presence in our lives.
Elly has placed her LIFE "in Christ," following Him as the Way, the
Truth and the Life. She lived a faithful life in Christ and his Catholic
Church. She has run the race. She has fought the good fight.
Therefore, we commend our sister, Elly, to her eternal reward, which is life
with our Heavenly Father.
Order of the Mass:
Music before Mass: "Prayer of St. Francis"
Procession: Fr. Steven and Family - "On Eagle's Wings"
First Reading: Proverbs 31:10-13, 19-20, 30-31 - Olivia Zilahy
Responsorial Psalm: 23rd Psalm - "The Lord is my Shepherd; there is
nothing I shall want"
Second Reading: 2 Timothy 4:6-8 - Gabrielle Holcombe
Gospel Acclamation: Celtic Alleluia with funeral verse - ("I am the
resurrection and the life, says the Lord. Whoever believes in me, even if
he dies, will never die"), "Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ, King of
Endless Glory (for Lent)
Gospel: John 14:1-6
Prayers of the Faithful (Intercessions): Included special prayers for Zoltan
Zilahy, Claudia and Stanley Rusinek - Led by John Zilahy
Presentation of the Gifts: "Ave Maria": Schubert - Piano/Bernie
Oeschli
Holy, Holy Holy: Mass of Creation
Memorial Acclamation: Mass of Creation "We Proclaim Your Death"
Great Amen: Mass of Creation
Our Father: Spoken
Lamb of God: Mass of Creation
Communion: "One Bread, One Body"
Song of Farewell: "May the Choirs of Angels..." Organ/Cantor
Procession to Columbarium: Instrumental
Recession: "Be Not Afraid"
Susan White, who sat with Elly in the rehab clinic about a year ago [playing
scrabble and reading the Bible to her, among many other loving things] -- and
who visited Elly with me later -- emailed me last night. Susan was
working and could not attend the funeral. I would just like to share her
comments about Elly and Fr. Steven:
I'm glad to hear Elly's funeral went
well. She deserved the best after a long life of giving. I'm sure
she was singing with the angels. Its good that Fr. Steven said
Mass...you're right, he is very holy! On Wednesday mornings he always attends
the novena of the Miraculous Medal and he gets at the end of the line to kiss
the relic of St. Catherine Laboure - a very beautiful and humbling act to
watch. He's always at Eucharistic Adoration after that and he always sits
somewhere to the side or in the back apart from everyone so as not to make a
show of it. I just love that about him.
It really was a beautiful gathering at Our Lady Star of the Sea. Elly was
dearly loved by many and will be missed greatly.
Much love to all of you,
Gabrielle
By the way, I forgot to say that the Presentation of the Gifts was done by John
and Patty Zilahy. It was nice to see them doing this together for Elly.
As it worked out, everyone had a role. Norman carried in the cremains,
but I am pretty sure that a funeral home employee carried them to the
columbarium. Norman was strong. He lovingly placed the wooden box
with gold crucifix on top at the front of the altar steps on the
pedastal. (I believe an employee carried it to the columbarium. I
could be wrong, but I know I saw the woman coming up the side aisle to join the
procession. I completely understand IF they plan to do it this way -- as
you can imagine, emotions kept coming to me and to others at certain times of the
Mass. Even if a family member can manage coming down the aisle at the
beginning, I am sure they are drained by the end.)
At the Sign of the Peace, I went across the aisle and just placed my hand on
Norman's, which was resting on the top of the pew. He said "Thanks."
(I was in the 2nd pew on right hand side of middle/main aisle sitting next to
Ashley Bowman and Elaine Bowan; family was on left hand side of main aisle.)